Here's what I came up with at 32 after years of pondering my parents existence as young adults: I'm never really going to know. Why my parents did not stay together? Why they chose certain paths in their careers? Which step led to that step.....and on and on? I just will not ever really understand. And maybe I'm not supposed to. Because here is what I DO know.
My Mom is a gentle soul that tries to heal everyone with her kindness and food. If you are hurt within, she will be talking you through it while making you chicken noodle soup from scratch. She has a way of comforting even the most callous of hearts and she wears hers on her sleeve.
My Dad is the constant teacher (he's really a Chaplain), but to me he was a teacher. He was always explaining everything so that he knew that I knew how things all fit together. He's also the most reliable person I have EVER met. If he says he is going to do something, he will walk through fire if necessary to make sure it done. He has never let me down. He has an incredible way of making everyone around him feel safe. He has thought through every scenario and has a plan "in the event of". When I grow up I plan to be just like him in that way:)
My Step-Dad is a protector. He always told me that if anyone ever hurt us girls he would hunt them down and make it so that they did not want to be on the planet. I believe him. I've seen him hunt. Don't mess with his family:) Also....he can fix anything! ANYTHING. Be it your broken car or broken heart, he's got it covered.
And My Step-Mom was......she was simply Fun. She made everything fun. I always use to think that if she went out of her way to make every experience so much fun, she must have really loved us. She was also a kind care-taker in an: if it's not broken walk-it-off sort of way, but if it is, I've got this. She was frugal and crafty and artistic in every way. I miss her. I miss her easy nature. And I really miss her humor.
So even though I can't piece together "the way they were." I know who they are. I know who they were and are in my life and those around them. And written down on paper it's a pretty compelling story. It's kind of magical to me. All those years of mystery and questions and I finally understand what I did not as a little girl.............that the story that I was really looking for was happening before my eyes. And it's a good one. It's our story.